Wednesday, February 27, 2013

How Did You Get Here? Heck, How did ANY of us Get Here?

People Google some crazy things. Seriously. Everything from asking why your dog can’t drive a car to why you can’t tickle yourself properly is fair game. Below are some of the more ridiculous and troubling examples of what people have Google searched to get to ARB with commentary:

How to Get a Guy Into Your Pants - Uh...perhaps unzipping them and letting him try them on? I’m guessing the Googler meant that she wants to tell a boy she wants sex. Part of me hopes I answered her question with this post, but another part hopes she is saving herself for marriage.    
Why Do I Like Naked Girls and I am Ten - Holy crap! Where are this kid’s parents? When I was ten, I didn’t even know what a girl was. Learn to Cuddle first, man!

Naked Ladies Trying to Kill Me
- The person who Googled this apparently thought to jump on his computer before calling the police. He landed here, but I am worried because he never Googled again, so the naked ladies might have killed him. Although maybe if he were sexier, they would have fallen in love with him instead?

If a Boy Asks You to Buy a Rose for Him - My advice? Dump him! What’s his problem? Can’t he buy his own freakin’ rose? Does he think he’s the girl?

Nude Rose Pictures from MTV Catfish - Many iterations of this in recent weeks landing people here. My question: why do you want to see naked pictures of her? Seriously. She’s not that great.

Signs My Guy Friend is Into Me - Hint: If you have to Google it, he's into you.

"Meteor Will Strike You" - Was this legitimately a concern for someone? In any case, he actually survived The End of the World and then Googled that’s a problem.

Signs Your Guy Friend Wants Your Body and Not You - There are many signs, but if you catch a guy drooling or ogling you incessantly, assume he’s not sticking around for the conversation.

Signs He Wants in Your Pants
- Is he making repeated sexual references and/or are you wearing extremely revealing clothing?       

What It Means If a Guy Wants to Get in Your Pants
- It means he wants to have sex with you. Now if he wants to get into your panties, THEN you have a dilemma...or a potentially fun sexual fantasy? You decide!

Is Giving a Rose to Someone Cheating - Of course it is. So is giving someone a cupcake, a cookie, or any kind of card. A hug is perfectly acceptable, though. However, if you hold the hug for longer than 4 seconds, you’re still a dirty, rotten, cheater.

"Tickle Me" Ticklish Tickled Tattoos - I have no comment nor words to describe how or why this person got to ARB nor why they were searching for this.

Did anyone else pick up on the pattern? It appears as if every girl out there either wants a guy to get into her pants, or is currently dealing with a guy friend who is attempting such a feat. Sounds like it sucks to be a girl.

No, I have no idea what this picture has to do with this post, either.


  1. I got here by googling "I'm in love with my beat friend he wants to have sex with me"

    I am certainly glad I landed here as it has been really interesting, informative, & funny.

    1. Hey Ashley Nicole! Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate it.