Wednesday, January 9, 2013

One-Liner Rejections

Rejection, for many of us, is a part of life. For some of us, it is a rather big part of life and we would like to shrink that portion any way we can. Rejections in the dating world are perhaps the most comical since, when someone is clearly rejected in their advances, it is somewhat hysterical. Everyone points and laughs at the poor sap who tried to ask the girl of his dreams out, it’s usually the cover story of the morning paper, and nowadays, people use cruel hashtags such as #sucks2Bu and talk about it all over Facebook. Here are some of the more memorable ones from my life, although I will not state whether this is something I overheard, was told, or if it happened to me. Good luck in uncovering the mystery!

- Sorry, I only go out with guys who are tall enough to ride rollercoasters.
- Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you ever kissed a girl before? That was awful. I hope you never kiss another one.
- I wouldn’t date you if you were the last girl on Earth. The human species would become extinct and that would be that. No repopulating the world fantasies, please!
- No, no, no, no, no, no. Did I mention the answer is no? I will not go out with you.
- Look, I’m desperate, but I’m not that desperate. No thank you.
- We are never, ever, ever, ever, getting back together. You go talk to your friends...*
- There must be something wrong with me because I can’t get the guys I like to ask me out, all I get are guys like you. My life sucks.
- Maybe if you changed your hair, got new clothes, lost some weight, worked out, and a couple of other things, I would think about going out with you. No promises, though.
- Look, honey, sugar, baby, you’re really cute, but you’re way too young for me. Call me in five years.**
- Uh...I’ll you call sometime!***

Oh, and it probably goes without saying, but feel free to use any and all of these in your daily life. The person you are using these on will thank you for it.

* Grrs Taylor Swift song that’s stuck in my head! It is so annoying and catchy that I must sing and hum it everywhere.

** These two people were actually the same age. And, five years, what difference would that make? If two people are 20 and 25 and that is too big an age difference, then in five years, 25 and 30 will be okay? Color me confused.

*** This is perhaps the most troubling one. Why don’t they put some sort of a timeline on the phone call? And more importantly, they don’t actually have the other person’s number. Hopefully they never see each other again. Awkward!

1 comment:

  1. I've had all of these said to me, even by girls who I just said "Hi" to, which was weird.