|Aww, look at those kittens cuddling. Also, spooning is secretly not so secretly every girl's favorite position.|
I’ll be honest, I added a New Year’s Resolution to my list this year to get angry more often. People have said I am too nice and do not overreact enough, so here I am, trying to find things to get pissed off about. Cuddling is not some throwaway gesture done at the end of sex to appease one’s significant other. If your heart isn’t in it, why cuddle? Better that you go off to sleep and spare us all the completely worthless display you call cuddling. Cuddling is not exclusive to middle-aged women who can’t find anyone to love them, as one website proclaims. Seriously, mysterious woman who spouts this garbage, please stop soiling one of the best parts of life and leave the internet alone! Finally, it is not supposed to be a prelude to sex, either. Actually, I’ll add one here. It is not done with a pillow! You need two people for this exercise. Get those cuddling pillows out of here!
2. What Cuddling Is
Cuddling is when two people get together, ideally in a bed, sometimes in an uncomfortable car seat, while one person holds the other. They can switch positions, but it usually doesn’t work like that and is weird. Typically, one is a “holder” and the other the “held.” The person being held is usually the one comforted, although both people gain something from it. Not only is there close physical contact throughout the duration, but there is usually quite a bit of talking. Typically, the conversations are emotionally-charged in a good way. Emotions tend to be much more free flowing when you’re literally holding onto someone or vice-versa. Go figure. If the person you’re cuddling with doesn’t suck at it, then usually, the longer it goes on, the better it becomes. Most importantly, there is very little, if any, sexual overtones or contact during a cuddle with a cuddle buddy. You’re there for the emotional stuff, not the sex. If you want sex, go have sex. If you want to cuddle, then cuddle.
3. Why Cuddling Is Awesome
I have always come away from a good cuddle session feeling refreshed and raring to go. Seriously, think about all of the times you've cuddled with someone and how you felt after. If you did it correctly, you felt great after. There is a reason why oxytocin is called "the cuddle hormone." Seriously, Google it. Oxytocin does all of these amazing things like bond people to one another and product good feelings. So guys, when you want to deepen your relationship with a woman, cuddle with her. If done correctly, you'll get a lot out of it, too.
4. How to Find a Cuddle Buddy
Ahh, this is the question on everyone’s mind.* How does one obtain a cuddle buddy? It’s usually a good idea to do a bit of research here. Does this person look like a good cuddler? Women, if the guy seems very relaxed, chill, and down to earth, you’re on the right track. He also shouldn’t be obviously interested in you sexually.** Thus, someone you aren’t particularly close to, but more of an acquaintance would work well. Guys, if you want a cuddle buddy for any reason, search out a girl you really get along with and feel you can really open up to. Someone who makes you feel those “warm fuzzies” on the inside. Someone who you want to hold. For both sexes, make sure it is someone you can trust to keep their mouth shut and not divulge your deepest, darkest secrets.
5. The Rules/Helpful Tips
Alright, so you’ve found an acquaintance-esque person who you think would be a great cuddler to fulfill all of your emotional needs. Fantastic. Now, it is time to talk to them to make sure you’re good to go here. They have to know what this relationship will be. It will be about cuddling and emotions. It is basically a friendship on steroids. No sex and there will probably not be a relationship in this person’s future with you. They are not to share anything you talk about with anyone. Making sure you only see this person once a week or less is a great idea to ensure neither of you get too attached. Promote a culture of openness between both of you so that when one of you wants to end it for any reason, it’s not a problem. The openness is to ensure there are no surprises. The more information you can give them, the better. If they’re cool with it, then great! You have just netted yourself a cuddle buddy. Your friends should be jealous, they only wish they could have what you have.
6. The Demise
Unfortunately, much like The Hurt Locker***, Cuddle Buddy Relationships tend to blow up. Virtually always****, something falls apart. Most often, one person falls for the other and it either evolves into a relationship, or more often, doesn’t. Sometimes one person finds a real relationship and then ends it. Sometimes, it doesn’t work because of a breach of trust. No matter what, something inevitably fails. I mean, how many people do you know who have a cuddle buddy for years? Not many, I imagine. Make sure to enjoy the good arrangement while it lasts and understand that, in all likelihood, it is temporary.
My Verdict: You can probably tell I'm just a little biased. Honestly, my dream has always been to find a great cuddle buddy. Unfortunately, it has never worked out for me. Either the woman has fallen for me or we have fallen for each other, but my dream lives on! Maybe I'll never find a great cuddle buddy, but one of the pre-requisites for a wife is she has to be a great cuddler.
* Well, mostly women, but perhaps a few guys.
** If there is interest, there will probably be a “how to know if a guy wants to get into your pants” post. Email me!
*** Emotionally speaking, of course.
**** The best application of a Cuddle Buddy is a short-term arrangement where the meetings are few and far between, as stated above. In rare cases, these do actually work out for the best and there is a positive effect on the lives of both people. Aww.